Happy Holidays!

Dear Friends and Family,

In November an asteroid passed 202,000 miles from Earth! Liz, a junior at Boulder

High School, is taking astronomy and assured me that the Earth is relatively tiny and hard to hit, but STILL! Contemplating asteroids, booming population and shaky financial times, I’m either prone to party like Ms. Lohan or contemplate the meaning of life. Given my allergic reaction to alcohol, I gravitate towards studying my navel. On a recent NPR broadcast Terry Gross asked Nobel prize winner Seth Perlmutter: “If it is an infinite universe, how can it be expanding?” Perlmutter explained some of the science behind the phenomenon and concluded: if one doesn’t like being boggled on a daily basis, astrophysics and the exploration of supernovas is probably not a good fit for them.

Heck, I’m no astrophysicist, although maybe I’ll go back to school for another degree (just kidding, Mom! Mom?), but I’m boggled daily by the visual splendor of Boulder, by the miracles that my children are – from their remarkable talents to the challenges that they have overcome. I am deeply moved watching them navigate life; they are both kind, intelligent, wise and determined women. I’m blessed by their presence and glad they chose me to be their mother.

Only weeks after a frightening kidney infection, last month Bella had exceptionally painful surgery on her ankle, and yet she remains resilient and upbeat, maneuvering around lithely on her scooter. She loves her home in Durango and her major is environmental studies at Fort Lewis. Her animal family sustains her when the going gets rough. (I can’t imagine from who she inherited her love of critters!) Liz studies singing and writes songs and is working on a novel. Our kitties, Pablo and Toby, think she is the cat’s meow and tend to distract her from homework every opportunity! In the last year Keesha (age 16) has almost died so many times I think she may have stolen both cats' nine lives for herself.

Maybe it’s crossing the 50 mark, maybe it’s the world circumstances or maybe it’s just because I’ve always been an existentialist pain in the ass, but every day feels like the ripest cherry plucked from the bunch. Recently I heard the saying: “There is no bad weather, only bad clothes.” I mind winters far less because of a collection of fuzzy hats, gloves and scarves, puffy coats and rubber boots. I am learning to live my life that way – to rearrange my days so that I have enough time to meditate daily and to write or attend yoga or dance class when not doing school work or shuttling Liz. I am rehearsing for a show at the Dairy (not dancing with cows at an eco-site - the Dairy is our local arts venue). A happy heart generates the energy to live several lives within one life and to give of myself fully. When we do what needs to be done at the expense of our joy, it’s like going out into the cold without a coat. One may be burdened by debt and responsibility, but if we don’t do something for our spirit and soul, our bodies will most assuredly say “No” in a big way.

In Soulcraft, Bill Plotkin explains: “the movement toward spirit is a journey of ascent… transcendence, while the movement toward your soul is a journey of descent… a journey that deepens.” My spirit loves angels and dancing, water slides and swings. My soul knows I have near misses with small asteroids daily. It walks me into the terrain of my shadow and the bittersweet of what it means to be human. Soul sustains my spirit’s quest for lightness and peace.

I am boggled by the miracle of life and marvel that I ended up living in a little cozy yellow house in a bucolic, forested place with loving, supportive friends. My humble roots would not have predicted this. But even without humble roots we have all been battered enough to appreciate what we have. They say life brings us to our knees and that’s when we connect to our concept of the divine. Marianne Williamson once said: “I finally decided to just stay on my knees.” “Surrender” does not mean giving up; it means an open heart that has been broken so that we reach more quickly when a friend falls. “Surrender” transcends religious affiliation, because when we surrender, joy is seated in our heart no matter the circumstance or what is happening around us. We plug into the joy and just get that this is an illusion and all that matters is Love. We trust a greater plan and we live from love.

It’s definitely a practice. When life isn’t testing us, it’s testing everyone around

us. We take turns catching each other when we fall. This September we were offered up some record highs that enabled strolls under trees with leaves changing into the most vibrant reds and golds I had ever seen since moving to Colorado. But then the snow arrived with a bang, and I woke to branches down all around town. Shoveling it from the sidewalk felt like shoveling wet sand and my lower back was grumpy and so was I. But I was dressed right: in my tall snow boots and brown down coat, long underwear and sweat pants. After shoveling, I stood and gazed about. Everything was perfectly still and hushed. The snow sparkled and the sky was a blue bead I wanted to wear. We tend to hold on to what we know and the gloomy ways of the world, but if we can become present and aware, the serendipity of the moment will be a rising sun in our hearts.

Happy Holidays!

Love & Blessings,

Jen