Dogs and Cats, Men and Women

Keesha, Angel and Toby

Someone said to me that she “likes cats if they are like dogs.” That’s sort of like saying she “likes men if they are like women.” When I described how one of my cats likes to cuddle under the covers and lie on his back like a little monkey while I scratch his tummy, she said: “That’s what I mean! That’s like a dog.” I am equally a cat and a dog lover, and I’m not sure why people prefer one over the other. I think it’s because they’ve had bad experiences. Not all dogs bite and not all cats are neurotic narcissists. Animals come onto this planet with lessons to be learned, just like we do and they can change and grow if we provide those opportunities. A well-attached, well-loved animal will by and large be pleasant to be around, barring a genetic trait (which happens with humans too). Granted, due to biology, dogs are more forgiving. They’ve been domesticated longer. A cat who has been raised in a rough environment will shut down and likely stay shut down, whereas a dog will be more open to winning our love.

Pablo the cuddle bear

Animals are not here solely for our pleasure and yet we take great pleasure in their company. We are graced with their presence and granted the responsibility to take good care of the animals we bring into our homes. Each creature will have a different personality and, unless we get them as kittens and puppies, a previous history – a childhood. It takes them some time to adapt and show their true personalities. And for the ones who’ve had a rougher past, if we can honor their space and timing, they will become great teachers and, often, kind companions.

Angel Boy

For example, our cat Angel Boy arrived on our doorstep on a snowy five-degree day weighing 5 pounds and matted. He was the type of cat who would put up with pretty much anything and slept a lot. About 18 months from the time he arrived, he “woke up.” One day he followed me around, watching me brush my teeth, cook meals, and take a bath. It was as though he finally trusted us to keep him and not to hurt him and that safety gave him the permission to be himself and to explore his environment. He still pretty much put up with anything, but we discovered he also had a sense of humor and a whimsical personality.

We do this to each other. An article by hetero relationship specialist Alison Armstrong, author of Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women, says that many women treat men as though they are “hairy women.” Now there’s an appealing image. :p But it’s worth reading about the opposite sex to learn about the universal patterns related to how they communicate, how they show their love and how they view the world. I know the men who've read about female joy (and I'm not just talking sex here) can make me purr. There is awareness we can gain to bridge the gaps so that we can begin to raise our animals and children to feel safe and to engage with all of the people in our lives with tolerance and unconditional love.