Does Guilt have a Home?

photo credit: Blogos

Some say guilt is necessary, that it keeps us from doing things we shouldn’t do and makes us do things we should do.

Really? It's useless.  (Sorry guilt. I know I’m pissing you off here.) We have a conscience to serve that purpose. Conscience is like Obi Wan Kenobi, Gandalf or Glinda. Guilt is like a raging, alcoholic father who never got his needs met. With whom would you rather hang out or align yourself? The term “guilty conscience” is odd. If a conscience is what helps us determine the best choices for ourselves why would our conscience be guilty if we choose something that does not serve us or the greater good? We would have just made a mistake. We make amends, forgive and be forgiven.

I’ve heard many people talk about their relationship with guilt. Some say: “Guilt keeps me in line.” (Sounds like Mr. Sheen talking.) Or I’ve heard: “I went to counseling, and I learned I was just going to have to always live with a low level of guilt in relationship to my mother.” WHY? What part of us believes that guilt is good and essential?

It’s like when we’re born some of us are signed up for the guilt club and we don’t realize we can get out. And, if you choose to cancel the
membership, other tribe members will sneer and boo, but when you
get a good distance away you will begin to run and never look back.

photo credit: LegalSchnauzer

The inner critic (in some spiritual circles referred to as “the ego”) punishes and clings. And if you’re not holding on too, it condemns you for not caring, for thinking you are better than you are, for being “selfish.” The freer we are, the more generous and compassionate we become. The clearer we are, the better we use our valuable time. The more honest we are, the less feelings get hurt and the more people who cling learn to take responsibility for their behavior. Conscience means doing something we might not otherwise do because it serves the greater good. Guilt means doing something we might not otherwise do and then resenting it.

Part of the reason we experience guilt is because an inner judge is sitting in the seat where our self observer is supposed to sit. We make impulsive decisions and judge ourselves (instead of making a thoughtful choice to begin with). We choose to take a mental health day off from work, but a co-worker finds out and chastises us; instead of standing up for ourselves with esteem and the knowledge that we will work twice as hard upon return, we agree with the inner judge and beat ourselves up. We cower and destroy the joy of nourishing ourselves. It’s like there’s a whole Supreme Court in our heads. No wonder our culture is losing its heart.

I’m not sure when my justices moved out and took residence elsewhere, but I believe that my health is a direct result. My body, mind, soul and conscience are healthier (and happier) without guilt. Personal freedom is a gift, a choice and a step towards Heaven on Earth. I am blessed and my hope is to help others take action to free themselves from thoughts and people who bind so that they may discover and celebrate their unique voices.

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