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| "Sunset Orchid" by Alixandra Mullins |
My favorite high school teacher, Mr. Tom Barton, once said: “You
are prejudiced if you are prejudiced of prejudice.” I recall thinking: of course it’s not right to be prejudiced, and if we don’t have any sense of judgment we’d all be lost. Still, I
trusted him, and so I never forgot much of what he taught me. Last week at a
network meeting, as I judged a stranger for his judgment, I finally understood
what the good Teach was talking about. As this man went on and on becoming more
superior by the second I felt my ire rising. Had my filters been down I
probably would have started hacking like my cat when he has a hairball caught
in his throat or I may have poked myself in the eye repeatedly. But since
neither were socially appropriate I did some self talk.
I felt behind what
the other person was expressing. I took my perspective to the bigger picture. Fueling
his judgment was the longing to connect, an illusion of separation from the
other, and a deep sadness related to being misunderstood. These are universal feelings we all wrestle with at one time or another. As I stepped back my
mind, my heart stepped forward and I relaxed. I was able to hear his
frustration, and the judgment didn’t seem as important.
Even though the Buddha is often mistakenly credited with
this quote, it actually appears in a
